Come What May

“Though we may feel we are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says, we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter.  Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken -hearts are healed.  While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.) My 20 th birthday was spent in a bed.  Not because I was lazy, not because I was sleepy, but because I was sick and it hurt too much to move.  I am so blessed so I'm not trying to complain, but needless to say it was not the pleasantest of birthdays and since that day I can see that my illness has aged me.  Loud noises make me cringe, large gatherings make me tired, I prefer to stay at home than not, and sometimes I wish there weren’t quite so many party invitations to turn down.  Some people might think my six months of professional treatment should’ve been enough, that it is time to sna...

I feel we need to devote more of our prayers to expressions of gratitude and thanksgiving for blessings already received.  We enjoy so much" (President Ezra Taft Benson). A few weeks ago on one of my daily walks I saw a few runners go by and thought to myself, “I wish I could go on a run!”  After all, I used to be able to; running, backpacking, hiking, all kinds of things.  I started thinking about some of my broken dreams.  Because besides my mediocre health I didn’t finish my mission, I had to abandon a promising military academy application, I still couldn’t go to school, my social life was lame, and my 6 months of partial isolation from the world were making it difficult to function in it.  (Naturally feelings of self-pity began to surface). Then I shook my head and thought about how I lucky I was to be on a walk.  After all, I couldn’t always go walking every day!  Lots of people can’t go on walks.  Lots of people are much less fortun...

“God help the outcasts, the hungry from birth.  Show them the mercy they don’t find on earth…God help my people, the poor and down trod.  I thought we all were the Children of God” (Esmerelda). The other day I re-watched Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame (which I know is a very loose interpretation of Victor Hugo’s much darker Hunchback) but let me just say that it was fantastic. I have been a fan of Disney movies my whole life and in all these stories the heroes and heroines are trying to find out where they belong in the world.  They are different, they are outcasts in society, but they also have admirable qualities that carry them through their personal struggles and lead them to the “happily ever after.”  In my opinion one of the most admirable and most relatable of these heroes is Quasimodo. He doesn’t get the girl, he isn’t reunited with his long lost parents, he undergoes no physical transformations, he inherits no riches, he rules no kingdoms,...

“In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer” (Isaiah 54:8). In moments of confusion and distress I often hear the comforting words: “Well, everything happens for a reason.”  That is so very true.  But in my moments of confusion and distress I usually don't want to hear it. Is it my lack of faith? My angry heart? My lack of perspective?  I know that everything happens for a reason.  I realize God didn't send us here to be tested for His own amusement.  He doesn't let us struggle without purpose. Everything happens for a reason.  It only makes sense; but for me the hard part comes in living through the pain until I better understand the reason and my understanding doesn't always come in a day or two. I believe someday we will learn the lesson; the sun always comes out after rain; but the pain of the present is also very real. As the Savior knelt ...

“For I know that my redeemer liveth… And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God” (Job 19:25-26). Some days are fine.  Some days are not.  Some days all I want to do is get up and go.  Some days all I want to do is lie on my bed.  Some days I find that there are too many things to do.  Some days I find that there is nothing I can do.  Some days I’m restless, some days I’m peaceful.  Some days I am energetic and enthusiastic.  Some days there is a cloud of melancholy hanging over me.   Some days I am happy, some days I am unhappy.  It is an unpredictable and frustrating pattern. That is a difficult thing to live with.  I don’t like being ill and nobody likes seeing me ill.  By peers I am accused of being anti-social, of using my illness as an excuse.  By family I am given worried looks and sighs.  People want me to just stop being sick.  They want the pain to be ...

The following account is based on actual events. The Wood kids got Nerf guns for Christmas this year: Eight 6-inch Nerf guns, three bullets a piece.  You may be wondering, “Aren’t you guys kind of old for that now?”  Why yes.  Yes we are; which is why this thing has escalated to alarming heights.  Here is a record of our wars with one another. Day One: Christmas Morning As we gathered around the Christmas tree to unwrap presents we each found a little toy gun next to our stockings.  With a pile of presents still waiting to be unwrapped the shooting began almost immediately.  Dad called for a cease fire, only to get a bullet in the face.  It was Mom. At last firing ceased and we enjoyed a peaceful day until the park.  There we ran around and shot each other to our hearts’ content.  We came to a truce when we saw small children looking for more play space and returned home. Day Two: Civilian Attack When a dear friend ...

“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10). When I was a little girl Mom sometimes took me to day care.  One day when she picked me up an irritated caretaker confronted her. All day I had been quiet, solemn, and solitary, so the good woman declared I was sick and shouldn't come back until I was better.  My confused mother took me home, checked me over and concluded there was absolutely nothing wrong.  Considering the woman’s concerns she came to a funny realization: I was unusually quiet and shy for a three-year-old girl and in this case my solemnity was mistaken for a touch of the flu. Even as an adult I find many of those childhood traits present in my behavior.  I have a quiet voice which never seems to project like I think it will, I like people but can entertain myself, I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, and I am rarely accused of overzealous enthusiasm. As a teenager I sometimes felt quite forgettabl...