"Everything happens for a reason"

“In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer” (Isaiah 54:8).

In moments of confusion and distress I often hear the comforting words: “Well, everything happens for a reason.” 

 That is so very true. 

 But in my moments of confusion and distress I usually don't want to hear it. Is it my lack of faith? My angry heart? My lack of perspective? 

I know that everything happens for a reason.  I realize God didn't send us here to be tested for His own amusement.  He doesn't let us struggle without purpose. Everything happens for a reason.  It only makes sense; but for me the hard part comes in living through the pain until I better understand the reason and my understanding doesn't always come in a day or two.

I believe someday we will learn the lesson; the sun always comes out after rain; but the pain of the present is also very real. As the Savior knelt in the garden of Gethsemane pleading and suffering on our behalf, He asked His Father to remove the bitter cup.  For our sake He was willing to drink that cup, but surely it hurt in the meantime.

It is okay for us to feel sad. It is okay if we are having a hard time. That doesn’t mean we lack faith or perspective.  We should always believe in and hope for better days ahead, but it is also perfectly normal for us to desire relief from our pain.  It is normal for us to lack immediate comprehension and understanding.  The pain has a purpose, but in the meantime healing could take a while.

After hearing it so often in my recent circumstances I’m going to try to keep away from the line, “Everything happens for a reason.”  Right though it may be, I've decided helpful it is not.  Even with all the wisdom of our own experiences, we cannot truly know how it feels for another struggling soul. Only God and His Son have that one figured out. Although, surprisingly enough I've found that a hug and a prayer is often more effective than all those verbal reminders that everything happens for a reason.

Probably the best thing we can ever do is listen and love.  No lectures are necessary; no possible outcomes need to be reviewed; we don’t have to analyze the problem; we don’t have to find solutions.  We just need to listen and love, do what little we can to lighten the load, and leave the rest to the Lord.  I know I’ve still got a lot to work on, but I take comfort knowing that in His hands everything will work out and with His help one day we will understand all of the reasons.

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