Do You Feel Special?

“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10).

When I was a little girl Mom sometimes took me to day care.  One day when she picked me up an irritated caretaker confronted her. All day I had been quiet, solemn, and solitary, so the good woman declared I was sick and shouldn't come back until I was better.  My confused mother took me home, checked me over and concluded there was absolutely nothing wrong.  Considering the woman’s concerns she came to a funny realization: I was unusually quiet and shy for a three-year-old girl and in this case my solemnity was mistaken for a touch of the flu.

Even as an adult I find many of those childhood traits present in my behavior.  I have a quiet voice which never seems to project like I think it will, I like people but can entertain myself, I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, and I am rarely accused of overzealous enthusiasm.

As a teenager I sometimes felt quite forgettable.  The idea didn't bother me much, but being so unimpressive and mellow as I was it the raised the question most young people ask, “What, if anything, makes me special?”

The dictionary defines special as “distinguished by some unusual quality” typically referring to superiority in a particular area.  By that definition I can think of a lot of special people, but I certainly don’t fall into that category.  No matter how smart I am, someone will always be smarter, no matter how funny I am, someone will always be funnier, no matter how well I run, or play the piano, or ride a bike, or draw a picture, someone will always be better than me.  Someone will always be kinder; someone will always overcome trials more gracefully than I can; someone will always have more experience and insight than I can give.

So what makes you, or me, or anyone else with mediocre talents special?

Heavenly Father loves you; whether you deserve it or not, whether you believe it or not.  If the love of a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful being is not enough to make you feel special, then no accomplishment or degree of experience will ever be enough.  You are a child of God.  You are special to Him.  

We live in a nasty, competitive world.  Everyone wants to be the best, and if not the best at least better than everybody else in the neighborhood.  It is hard to be happy for the success of others.  Sometimes it is just hard to be happy for another person’s happiness.  I find that the more self-conscious I feel, the more judgmental I become.  If we cannot identify our own self-worth, then we cannot appreciate the worth of those around us.  We will always be a little frustrated, a little jealous, a little too competitive, and a little bit dissatisfied with what we’ve got.  We will never be good enough and neither will anybody else.

Heavenly Father knows what you are, and He knows what you can become.  He knows where you are lacking, and He knows how much potential you have.  He loves you, He loves your brother, He loves your best friend, He loves your worst enemy.  He allowed His only perfect child to take upon Himself the sins and imperfections of all mankind.  Jesus Christ completed the Atonement for you and for me because we were worth saving.  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).  Now doesn’t that make you feel special?

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