Fighting the Regrets of Tomorrow


"Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up."  -Alfred Pennyworth


The new year is in and with it comes fresh resolutions and crowded gym parking lots. Some of us will swear off sugar, some of us will vow to put more into savings, and some of us will make lists like “Five Easy Steps to a Whole New You” in the hopes that one day our self-improvement plan will finally kick in. Regardless, I consider this time of year a good opportunity to sit down and think about how to be different. We all could change something for the better.

Personally, I love setting goals. I like exploring my options, creating a plan (or three or four), and setting the cogs into motion. It’s exhilarating; all that optimism flowing through one woman as she schedules every hour of every day for the next four months. Whoo! What a rush.

Life, however, is not a color-coded playbook, and whether by chance or human frailty, plans and aspirations fall through. I hate that. Of course it’s good to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and go at it again, but it can be tiring too. The proverbial saying goes: “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Well sometimes I drink the lemonade, it goes down my trachea, Life gives me the Heimlich, then decides to punch me in the face while I am in the middle of saying "Thank you." Life is very temperamental.

I suppose so am I. I’m a constant flow of contradictions and inconsistencies; capricious and changeable, all the while demonstrating my obstinacy and reluctance to evolve. This year when I sat down to ponder my list of “Things to Do Differently” I had a hard time getting into the proper spirit.

1. Try to get good grades. Never mind. Just finish the damn class.
2. Clean up your language. Well you just said “damn” so that didn’t work.
3. Meet new people. Or maybe just stop scowling at them.
Mostly I just wish one thing would change and it’s the one thing I can’t: Stop getting sick. Life, and especially illness, has thwarted many plans of mine. I believe in adapting and pushing forward and making do. Sometimes that is not easy. Sometimes we have to give up old dreams and make up new ones. Sometimes I worry the resolve of today is slowly fading into the regrets of tomorrow. If that’s you, I’m sorry things aren’t going the way you wanted. I’m sorry the plans got off track. I’m sorry for the punch in the face Life has given you too.

Now pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Sit down—don’t be crazy you just got punched in the face. Then try again. Because if we aren’t going forward we’ll only move back. Make today better than yesterday. But if not, make this year better than last year. But if not, know that it doesn’t matter what the scale reads, or that your job isn't what you always dreamed, or that you’ll live long into spinsterhood. At the end of the day God will look to see how you loved, how you tried, how you found joy in spite of circumstance, and Jesus will tell Him to take you back anyway.

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