Tell the World I'm Coming Home! Oh Wait...

“God knows the desires of your heart” (my sweet friend).

On January 30, 2013 I reported to the Provo MTC, as giddy and anxious a missionary as they come.  Officially I was supposed to come home from my mission at the end of July 2014. The health problems of 2013 changed my plans a little, but I am so grateful for the incredible opportunity I had of those seven months serving as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the south of Chile.  What a wonderful learning experience it was and how much I have grown since that first day at the MTC!

This next month was supposed to be the final stretch before my eagerly anticipated arrival home.  I always hear about how the mission just seems to fly by, so I’ve thought a lot about my last 17 months.  I had a good run and spent half a year working hard in Chile.  In July I got sick, in August I came home, in September I had surgery, in October I made new plans, in November I got dumped, and in December I fought the depression of it all.  I don’t want to discredit the many joys I felt in between, but in my small world and breadth of experience I have never been in so much pain in so many ways.  Things didn’t quite “fly by” for me.  I have never been more confused, never more hurt, never more tired, never more desperate, never more alone, and probably never more prayerful in my entire life.  Nothing seemed to be working out and I wasn’t used to being so out of control, particularly not when I had such righteous desires.

I’ve made quite a good recovery this year and am happy to report that I am as spoiled and blessed as ever, though perhaps a bit more grateful for it. I try to keep the pain of the past in the past where it belongs.  Sometimes I flinch a little.

In January I was finally ready to start training as a Family History service missionary as I continued my recovery.  What an adventure that has been!  It is so wonderful, and so different! Unlike a full-time mission my service mission is more like a part-time job, vacation time included.  It will last about 12 months.  Instead of trekking across town with a sturdy, youthful companion at my side I sit alone at home on my computer answering phone calls and emails.  At missionary meetings I hear about children and grandkids older than I am!  At any church service I get every passerby in my line of sight doing a double take, giving me confused smiles, concerned looks, and wondering where in the heck is that girl’s companion!  When I’ve got my nametag on I am a bit of a rarity in my YSA ward, a bit of a rarity strutting across the temple parking lot, a bit of a rarity in the Family History department.  I get lots of questions: What do you do as a missionary? How long do you serve for?  What made you want to be a service missionary?  I have to explain my situation and how I got here to almost every person I meet for longer than three minutes.  On occasion I receive very impertinent questions and almost always somebody wants to know about my dating life (Apparently you can cover a lot of ground in three minutes).

When I came home last year my welcome committee consisted of a worried mom standing alone outside the airport’s security gate; I never got to report on my mission, I was welcomed home with some sadness behind closed doors; I spent days and weeks and months in bed mostly, waiting in limbo trying to decide what I could do next.  Things didn’t always quite work out and I sometimes wish some of the heartaches hadn’t happened, but I am so grateful for what this past year and a half has brought me.  Hopefully it wasn’t the best years of my life, but for now it was probably the best years for my life.

I love Chile, I love the people, I love Family History, and I love those people too.  More importantly I love Heavenly Father and as it turns out it really didn’t matter where He put me.  I still wanted to serve Him and He gave me many opportunities to do so!  He knows what He wants us to be, and sometimes He has to do a little bending and cutting and reshaping to get us there.  I am grateful for His involvement in my life.  I love Christ’s gospel and I trust God’s plan.  I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers everything and I am grateful for the opportunities to teach and testify of Him.

In Chile one of my good friends referred me to Doctrine and Covenants 123:17.  I’ve kept the words close to my heart: “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” 


Certainly not all things lie in our power, but you’d be amazed at what does.

Comments

  1. DerekTuesday, July 01, 2014

    Wow Alexis. You're one solid, mature, converted individual. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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