Come What May

“I GOT 4 HOURS OF SLEEP!   I HAVE HAD HIVES SINCE WEDNESDAY!   AFTER I HAD A FEVER FOR THREE DAYS!   AFTER ALL THOSE BASILAR MIGRAINE ATTACKS!   AFTER I DEVELOPED SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY!   AFTER I HAD A MOSQUITO BORNE ILLNESS!   THAT IS JUST THIS YEAR! I AM TRYING TO GO TO THE TEMPLE, DAGNABBIT GIVE ME A BREAK!   WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT ME TO LEARN FROM HAVING THESE STUPID HIVES?   WHY CAN’T YOU GIVE IT A REST?”   I said very calmly.   Just kidding!   I was screaming.   Also crying.   Also yes, I really said dagnabbit. It was 6 am.  I was alone in my car and on my way to the Provo Temple to work my weekly Saturday morning shift as an ordinance worker.  I had already been up for hours trying to soothe my recurring rash.  Food allergies.  Would you believe it?  I couldn’t.  I wasn’t even over my flu yet.  Did I mention it was finals week? I’m allergic to Red40 food colo...

“Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems.”  -Sadness (Inside Out) I think that sometimes I make people sad.  I wish I could say that today will be different, but I am going to be honest: You might feel sad reading this.  I hope that it will also make you happy. Last year when I was evaluated for depression and anxiety my therapist showed me a line graph to help me understand the severity of my condition over time.  The first line indicated where “normal people” were on the scale of mental health.  The second line showed when suicidal risk necessitated hospitalization.  The third line was me.  I was up by line two.  Needless to say I’ve enjoyed being back under “normal” considerably. Enter basilar migraine attacks. Unfortunately the tasks of daily living have still been a little tough for me lately.  My migraines are like mini-strokes.  I have a hard time thinking straight.  I have a hard time...