"Relationship Failed"

 "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind...And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities" (Alma 7:11-12).

Every day I get to help people fix up their family pedigree charts editing, deleting, and restoring data.  It’s not a thought everyone considers, but a family tree is quite revealing.  In a matter of minutes I can see important names and dates connected to you, your spouse, your children, your parents, your grandparents, their parents, and so forth.   I can see your newborn daughter, your grandfather’s marriage, your parent’s divorce, the day your mom died, the day your husband died, your uncle’s adoption, your son’s death, your father’s third wife.  In four minutes of scanning the computer screen I’ve taken a glimpse at some of the people and events that have been your life’s greatest joys and sorrows.  That doesn’t mean I understand any of them, but I see the data.

A while ago I got a call about a glitch in the system.  My patron could not save the date of a marriage event between two of her close relatives. Every time she received an error message that the save had failed.  As I listened more to the history of these relatives I learned of some very tragic choices and circumstances that eventually led to the couple’s unhappy separation and divorce.  I scribbled down my notes, created a case file, and sent her information along to get the problem resolved.  After I hung up the phone I looked back at my notes and saw in big green letters the words, “Marriage Failed.”  The reality of those words was painful. It wasn’t just a data entry that failed.

Amidst the sweet memories and happy stories I’ve heard about throughout my year of service many memories of divorce, estrangement, disappointment and loss have also come to the surface.  Everyone is touched at least a little by trouble and sorrow in their family life. Though my knowledge of history and scripture is limited I imagine that the little family of Joseph and Mary was no exception.  They were poor, they were human, they suffered from the poor choices of others, and I picture the worries of a parent only magnified by the knowledge that they had charge over their precious Redeemer. If nothing else brought sorrow—which I doubt—how painful it would be to watch the persecution and pain of a most beloved, perfect son.

I enjoyed the words from Elder Richard Maynes this year during the First Presidency Christmas Devotional: “It seems inevitable that Christmastime evokes the most tender and loving feelings toward the Savior and His earthly family. The Christmas story is a family story…Not only is there extensive and detailed genealogy recorded, but perhaps nowhere else in all of literature, whether religious or secular, is there a more tender and moving account of family unity, sacrifice, love, and service.”  I admire their trust in each other as much as their trust in the Lord. They are a beautiful example of what a family could be.

Everybody’s family looks different: some are large, some are small, some are far apart, some are close together, some are dysfunctional, some are happy. Families can be ripped and torn and stretched and broken, but thankfully due to the willing heart of our Savior families can also be put back together.  Family members can be relieved, healed, forgiven, and resurrected. No one is too far out of reach from the love our Heavenly Parents and their son Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for my family and that we can be together in eternity. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and for His plan of redemption. I am grateful for Jesus Christ and I believe in His power to heal families and individuals. No matter how many disappointments we experience He has not and will not disappoint us.