So I Had a Bad Day

"Fear not little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world…” (D&C 50:41).

Because of particular circumstances both in my personal life and in my work online as a FamilySearch service missionary I have the enlightening opportunity to talk to all kinds of frustrated people.  These friends and strangers are discouraged by limitations or glitches, by family or friends, by foolish mistakes and bad days, by circumstances both within and beyond their control.  I join them in the rankings.

Some days I feel like an embarrassing disaster happening right before your eyes.  Recently, while helping a man remedy some errors he made in his family history he sighed discouraged and said, “Can I just delete it all and start over?”  The next day as I reflected on several events of the past week I found myself sighing and thinking the same.  “Can I just delete it all and start over?”  The disappointing answer that came to us both: no.

We live in a world of editing, deleting, rearranging, and refinishing to make everything look and sound and feel perfect. We want to do away with limitations and imperfections.  We want flawlessness in every aspect of our lives, oftentimes without even realizing it, and when something fails to measure up to our unreasonable expectations we become irritated and stubborn and frustrated.

Can I edit the giant scar on my forehead caused by an unfortunate lack of care?  Can I delete that embarrassing fall down the stairs after my worst hair day ever?  Can I reposition the funds of my bank account to afford this year’s unexpected medical expenses?  Can I clean out the files of pain and bad memories to keep that persistent ache out of my heart?  Where is life’s “undo” button?

Probably one of the most irritating realities of my life is that there is no such thing.  We live in an imperfect world full of imperfect people doing imperfect things, each with their own imperfect perception of perfection.  We sin, we fail, we judge, we offend, we take offense, we fall, we bruise.  We are weak, we are limited, we have bad days, we do silly things.  I don’t have much of a solution for any of that.  I think we should always strive to be our best selves, but most of us don’t always look very good doing it.  We are far from perfect, for reasons both within and beyond our control.

I don’t have an undo button, but I do have a Savior who loves me.  He has provided a way for me to make all of the wrong in my life right.  When I stop worrying and rushing and whining and fussing, I feel of His love and concern for me.  In sweet, quiet moments, when I open my ears and my heart I am receptive to those gentle whisperings of the Spirit.  They remind me of who I am and whose I am; they remind me that I am loved; and they remind me that I am not the only person having a bad day.  The Lord wants me even at my worst, even in my most selfish, embarrassing, or painful moments.  How undeserving I am of that deep love and mercy and compassion.  How undeserving we all are.  I often have to remind myself, “It’s not always about you!”  In our worst moments, on our worst days, there is somebody else who needs to feel God’s love.  One of my favorite hymns asks:

Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need?

Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?

If not, I have failed indeed.

What a blessing it is to do good.  When faced with a rough day or a bad mood or a long week, we should always try harder and do better to make somebody else’s bad day become a little brighter; which in my case is probably much more useful than any “edit” or “undo.”