Waiting for the Sun

“From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Psalms 61:2).

My last Sunday in Chile shortly after our first church meeting was over I snuck away to an empty room with my sweet companion, sat down and cried.  I was ill, I was stressed, and I was probably going home.  I let the tears flow freely while considering all of the new disappointments that I would have to face.  Somewhere amidst all of my sobbing a concerned young brother came in to make sure everything was alright.  I suppose it must have surprised him to see a young sister missionary sprawled out across the chairs weeping while the other sat patiently waiting for the spell to end.  He very wisely left me in the hands of my companion, but before he returned to his meeting he gave me a little smile and said reassuringly that the sun always comes out after rain.  Less than a week later I was on a plane home with a broken down body and dampened spirits, but I knew that young brother was right: The sun always comes out after rain, and I would be okay.

Since I’ve been home there have been a few more disappointments to face and heartaches to heal.  I figure that puts me at about 1 in 7 billion.  Each one of God’s precious children on this earth is working through his own refiner’s fire, whether that means losing a job or losing his family in the aftermath of a typhoon.  We know that God sent us here to be tested, but we often wonder why it had to be quite so bad. 

Perspective is important.  God’s plan for us is perfect.  His work and His glory is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).  Look at who He has to work with.  Out of all of Heavenly Father’s children He has one perfect son, so before we are ready for immortality and eternal life there is a lot of work to be done in the meantime.

I don’t know why a loving mother loses her baby after a long 9 month struggle, or why a child has to be the object of rape and abuse, or why a devoted son has to watch his mother slowly lose her mind.  I do know that Heavenly Father loves us.  He is preparing us for His glory so that we can become as He is.  Our hearts may be heavy, but our grief allows us to become like God.  The challenges we experience in this life will prepare us for celestial glory and exaltation in the life to come.  Before we came to this earth we knew that there would be challenges.  We knew that people would have to battle with physical and mental ailments, we knew that some would chose to abuse their agency, we knew that hearts would break, that souls would stray, but we also knew Christ and His Atonement would heal all of the pain and injustices of this life.

As Mormon watches the destruction of his people, as he sits among the blood and carnage of a fallen civilization, he leaves his son Moroni with these words:

“My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.

“And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever.  Amen” (Moroni 9:25-26).

I testify that Christ will lift us up.  He is the way and He is light that will take away our deepest pains.  There is always something that Heavenly Father wants us to learn from out trials, and we must love God enough to trust Him. It won’t be easy, but it will always be worth it.